Do you sometimes feel guilty for wanting more?
When I first moved back to Australia I stayed in my friends’ spare room. Most nights I used to lie awake at night pleading with the Universe “All I want is a nice apartment that I can afford and a job I like – If you can help me get that I SWEAR I’ll never ask for another thing. Ever. I’ll be grateful forever. I promise.”
After a couple of months I had a contract for a job I was excited about and the keys to my new rental apartment. I was grateful. SO grateful. And relieved – packing your life up and moving to the other side of the world with no job and no home is no small thing. People told me I was brave to do it, little did they know that I was terrified not to do it…. but that’s another story.
So, there I was, new job and new apartment. All that I’d hoped for, all that I’d wished for, all that I’d begged and pleaded with the Universe for.
That was a few years ago. Since then, I’ve changed jobs and I’m still in the same apartment. I’m still grateful for a home that’s safe, secure and within my budget. I’m still grateful for an almost full time day job and a regular pay cheque.
And I also want more.
I want a home that’s mine. That I own. I want space for people to come and stay. I want a garden and, I don’t want to be able to hear my neighbours various bathroom noises or late night music choices.
I want to be able to coach and do breathwork full time. I want the freedom of being my own boss again, of running my day (and my week) how I want.
- Do I feel guilty for wanting more, for going back on that promise to “Never ask for another thing ever”? Nope.
- Do I sometimes get tangled up in the wanting and being grateful both at the same time? Yup.
- Am I grateful to be single and to able to do what I want to do when I want to do it? Yup
- Do I also want to be in a partnership and share my life with someone? Yup.
- Grateful I can run for 2 or 3 kms as I recover from an injury? Absolutely
- and, at the same time, wishing that I could really stretch my legs and bust out a 10km? Hell yes.
- Grateful to have a reliable car so I can drive out to a hike? Yup
- Wishing my car didn’t have that occasional weird smell or the wonky front bumper? Very much so (Especially when I’m giving someone a lift somewhere!)
Gratitude for what you have and the desire for more are not mutually exclusive, you can hold both at the same time.
If you’re feeling guilty for yearning for more, know that there’s space for both – that you can be grateful for what you have AND still want more. It doesn’t make you a bad person, a bad parent, a bad partner, lover or, friend. It just means you’re human.
If you’re grappling with the idea of being grateful and still wanting more, or feeling guilty for wanting more, coaching and breathwork can help. Breathwork can help support you and release feelings of guilt around wanting more. Coaching can help you get clear on what it is that you want, why you want it and, help you make a plan to get you there. Book in for a private 1:1 session or drop me an email.
