Values help us find our way in the dark, they can give us direction. Living in line with our values can give us a sense of purpose. Conversely, living outside of our values can result in a feeling that something is lacking, that something just “isn’t right.”

We often toss around sentences like “XYZ is important to me” but yet, when we look at our behaviours, we often find ourselves making choices that are a direct contradiction of that. Back in my student days I was sure that studying hard and getting my degree was hugely important to me, yet I distinctly remember attending one Friday morning seminar and being so tired from having been out the night before that I actually fell asleep in class. Not my finest moment but a great example of someone who was living outside of their values!

Noticing that we are living outside of our values can be a sign that something is off in our lives – it can also be a sign that maybe something we thought was a core value wasn’t a core value after all. (After I fell asleep in class I realised that I valued class more than I valued that late night!)

That disconnect between what we say is important to us and the choices we make isn’t always entirely our fault. We’re primed by advertising, social media, TV, and the people around us to consider something that is important to them as something that should be important to us: looking a certain way, having a particular bag, hair style, desiring a particular lifestyle etc. The truth is that often if we hadn’t seen the ad, or the post, or the TV show then we wouldn’t even know about that look, that bag, that hair style, that lifestyle.

Realising that we are living outside of our values can be an opportunity to reassess, to check in with ourselves and re-examine that value, real or fake. It can also be an opportunity to take a look at our behaviour, our choices, our actions with a view to change and doing things differently.

When we get clear on and really understand our values, they can act as signposts; they can guide us to living our lives in a way that feels more intentional or more aligned with who we are / who we want to be. Understanding our values can help us understand ourselves, understand why we make the decisions we do, why we steadfastly do certain things and not others.

 

If you’re curious about starting to explore and understand your values, check out my free “Get to know your values” workbook.

 

If you’re ready to go even deeper into this work – to exploring your values and how they show up (or don’t!) in your life, you might like to consider coaching. Having someone to step you through the process, to ask you tough questions and to help you unpack things can be so helpful. Sign up for a free 20 min explore call with me OR sign up to get my newsletter.

 

I LOVE talking about values with people!